Feeding the Baby

Ella Wheeler Wilcox 1850-1919 Friendship After Love After the fierce midsummer all ablaze Has burned itself to ashes, and expires In the intensity of its own fires, There come the mellow, mild, St. Martin days Crowned with the calm of peace, but sad with haze. So after Love has led us, till he tires Of his own throes, and torments, and desires, Comes large-eyed Friendship: with a restful gaze. He beckons us to follow, and across Cool verdant vales we wander free from care. Is it a touch of frost lies in the air? Why are we haunted with a sense of loss? We do not wish the pain back, or the heat; And yet, and yet, these days are incomplete.

I had the best dreams last night.  They were really long and complicated. You were there. The beginning was in a cafe and you were the celebrity. Of course it was a small desert town and you had that chic SF glamor. One woman was trying so hard to be your friend and you just weren't having any of it. She was basically asking you, "what do I have to do to make you like me?" and I am thinking, "stop trying, it's never going to happen with her trying so hard." Then there was this tall, slender, dark haired beauty and she really was your friend, a very close one as it will turn out. She took us out of the cafe and to the desert motel next door. The motel was one of those 1940's auto court deals with a dirt lot, old scraggly trees creating a lot of shade, white walls, rooms lined up in a row. We went past the rooms to the back where there was a mashed up house, part eichler, part geodesic dome and all big. The door was opened by an older wom...

Antique German W48 Phone A photo by Qole Pejorian on Flickr The Phone In her dining room the squat black instrument presided Regally altared, wide eye unblinking. Silent for days then abruptly calling, bring, bring, bring me your ears. Shocking us silent, our hearts pounding. We seldom answered. At dinner the phone served illness, death and financial disasters As we prayed for grace. I read their faces. Her grim lips pressed to place our dinner on the table. Horrible to swallow. Sauce of sighs, it tasted bitter of unspoken rage.  Phone calls were placed from urgent need, but joy and love were never urgent, they barely rated. Motion was the imperative need. To keep moving despite the terrible consequence of life. Words were meaningless. Her arms gripped tight against Her breasts, spoke more clearly, shouted words no good woman Would say, but act them out with me to pay, if I didn’t listen. What phone can convey the duplicity of w...

So I had a really weird dream last night.   In my dream I was doing something at a coffee bar and i was either bored or scared but anyway I didn't want to go on with what I was doing so i thought to myself, but this is only a dream I can wake up if I want. So i decided to wake myself up.      It was really hard and i had to concentrate but i felt myself surfacing to consciousness and i vocalized something like the word ""Where"".   then i sunk back down. But i was aware that i had woken dennis a little with my voice. so i struggled back up out of sleep and said something else. then dennis reached down into my dream and put his arms around me. Which I find so warm and like coming home. so i was still mostly in the dream and dennis was all awake but in contact with me.   I could still see into my dream like looking down a tunnel.   the people in my dream could see me but not dennis. i said ""dennis do you see so and so?"" "...

Then the strong man  flew head first, laughing farther than my eye could see to crumple, still on the sand steely arms silent  blank space

I n my dream we moved back into a party house that I used to go to in Riverside many years ago (though not really). The house was like 4 stories tall  and very old and partially dilapidated. I remembered from the past (dreams and life) that the upper stories were rooms and rooms of dusty lives left right up to the moment they were abandoned. You could walk through them like a museum spying on other peoples lives. But the floors and stairs were old and unstable, it was very dangerous to walk those hallways but so interesting that you had to walk them. The ground floor was the one we lived on the most. The front half was a huge living room/dining room. It was kind of like a furniture store with couches, tables, and chairs scattered everywhere. There were dining tables and chairs lined up so that at least 50 people could all eat at once. We were very excited to be back there and having a chance to live where so many wonderful times were had. The plot was that I fell a...