Feeding the Baby

In my dream I was in a coffee shop at a table with a few other people and a dead baby. The baby was a boy with a little scrap of black hair. He looked asleep actually, but he was dead. The baby wore a yellow onesie and some booties. I knew I had to go, but I was afraid that everyone would notice that the baby was dead, not sleeping. I steeled myself and stood up. I picked up the baby and then placed him against my chest then I tucked some newspapers firmly between my hand and the baby. Next I picked up a briefcase and some books and pretty soon I had an armful of objects that I was using to hold the baby to my chest. It was very obvious at that point that the baby wasn't alive and the others in the coffee shop started to notice and murmur. I made it out to the car as quickly as could.

I get off work and its been a tough day . Some others come back to my sterile hotel room and we are waiting for the rest of the group. We are hungry and one of them says, "I hear they have good pizza around here, lets get pizza and beer."  I am up for that and we all agree so we start the pizza ordering ceremony: what do you like on your pizza, how many slices do you want? And what's the number, all that. Then someone comes from the front desk to the door to tell me I have a phone call. I follow them up to the front desk and its someone from work. They heard that one of the administrators is quitting and they want me to help them with a form applying for the soon to be ex-administrator's housing. They are having trouble with one of the boxes and I start to suspect that the form they are using has degraded from being printed out and copied so I tell them to go to fedconnect.gov and download the form again. Finally, I get off the phone and go back to the room (I...

In my dream, I went out walking one morning. I wasn't really fully prepared, I had on rubber flip flops, but my real shoes were in my purse. I had the newspaper because I had been reading it and there were a few very interesting events going on in the big city.   One was a tiny sword show which included a silver cutlass. Musee Marine-sabre by Rama from from the Wikimedia Commons . This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 France license. And one was train ride to under the mountain, though that seemed a little dodgy since you know what lives under the mountain. I have nearly gone on that very ride but stepped off at the last minute. Cobbled Street at Dinan photo by Wwarby © 2008 on Flickr   used under a Creative Commons Attribution License So instead I walked down the cobbled street looking in the windows of the various shops heading toward the main green of the city. I really wanted a cup of coff...

The dream was that there was a woman with six children and a man with six children. The woman's children and the man's children were all paired up, in each family the children had formed firm friendships with one other child. Then the two families combined and it was chaos. The children's bonds were broken and they began forming bonds with just anybody, even outsiders.   The family was completely torn asunder when three of the girls left the family and joined a college. From the college they graduated, but they didn't want to see their families at all. They were marching in a procession down a sidewalk and up a hill. When their family came close they broke and fled like crows scattering across the hillside, in flight. Crows by ms.bailey   This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.5 License. The next dream was a true anxiety dream. Dennis and I were at the grocery store shopping for Thanksgiving...

Gerard Manley Hopkins (1844–89). Poems. 1918. 40. (Carrion Comfort) NOT, I’ll not, carrion comfort, Despair, not feast on thee; Not untwist—slack they may be—these last strands of man In me ór, most weary, cry I can no more. I can; Can something, hope, wish day come, not choose not to be. But ah, but O thou terrible, why wouldst thou rude on me Thy wring-world right foot rock? lay a lionlimb against me? scan With darksome devouring eyes my bruisèd bones? and fan, O in turns of tempest, me heaped there; me frantic to avoid thee and flee? Why? That my chaff might fly; my grain lie, sheer and clear. Nay in all that toil, that coil, since (seems) I kissed the rod, Hand rather, my heart lo! lapped strength, stole joy, would laugh, chéer. Cheer whom though? the hero whose heaven-handling flung me, fóot tród Me? or me that fought him? O which one? is it each one? That night, that year Of now done darkness I wretch lay wrestling with (my God!) my God.

I had a dream where I was part of a group of hunted people who were nearly incorporeal and so insubstantial we floated off the ground. The dominate culture trapped us at a buffet and made the horrible bargain that we could only leave if we ate five items from the buffet table.  The terrible trick was that there was no way to eat five items without partaking of flesh. And I wasn't clear, but the flesh was terribly disgusting, like maybe it was human. I knew that if we ate of the flesh we would lose our in-corporeality and sink to the ground. That only through shitting and sweating for  days and days would we ever get rid of the horrible taint of that flesh, and maybe not then since the stain was deeper than flesh and maybe touched our souls too.

I went shopping in my dreams last night. It was a mall store all plush carpets and spot lights. Precious and trivial treasures arranged on tables. There were two exceptions one was a newly arrived box of dolls. These were cloth dolls sewn into cunning little outfits and each had a sandbag in their butt so you could sit them down and they would pose there. They had beige cloth for skin and little pastel flower print pinafores and pantaloons for dress. "These are lovely," I said, and the sales woman said, "yes that they are." I said, "lets put them up on the shelf; they should sell easily." And she replied, "even better, take one and pin it to your clothing to let the customers see how lovely it is and to attach some of your interest in the doll to the doll thereby attracting more notice and desire." Well why not? So we did. Then I took the doll home to Rumsey Drive, where I lived as a terrible teen, and went to bed in the back room with the do...

Last night i was stuck in Riverside. It seems I over looked the fact that it takes 5 hours to get to Stanford from Riverside and didn't start out until early morning. I was driving in the part of the city near UCR and I found a cute little motel, very funky and home like. I went and asked for a room and a very nice lady showed me an absolutely filthy room. Crumbs on the floor, bed unmade, shoes everywhere! But she was so nice, she offered me some cooked chicken and I told her oh no I don't eat meat. Anyway I got myself out of there and found that across the street the orange groves were torn down and there was a row of those skinny three story townhouses, very fancy, lots of "granite counters" and "hardwood floors". But they were all for sale because no one in Riverside had any money. So I went to the Mall and met up with Dennis and you at an upscale food court looking out some big windows onto the traffic mess that is Riverside. We had a dr...